"Don't be afraid to start over." I'm not writing this blog post with someone else in mind or to inspire anyone. This isn't a blog post aimed at encouraging other people, but solely encouraging myself. That title is for me. This blog post is for me. I'm not afraid of the hard work or making the effort to alter my thinking. What I'm really afraid of is how I think people will see me or how they already see me.
"Oh, here she goes again, talking a big game and 'starting over for the last time.'"
"Let's see if these 'new changes' or this 'new program' sticks this time and she doesn't gain it all back."
"Again? Seriously? I've heard this from her before. She failed. I don't believe she'll do it or be different."
"I give her one month before she quits and is stuffing her face with a cheeseburger and fries"
Now, no one has ever said anything like that to me and I'm very thankful for that, but it's hard not to dream up these negative thoughts.
All right you got me. Those thoughts are how I'm feeling about myself. Those thoughts are my inner critic telling me that I can't do it and I've been believing those thoughts for a long time.
It's hard not to intertwine what's going on spiritually into my relationship with food and fitness. I think it's supposed to be like that, though, all blended together. A couple of weeks ago our lead pastor, Philip, gave a message on the weight of negative self-talk and it's just now hitting me. If you have a spare 25 minutes, go watch it.
I don't want to be afraid of my own thoughts about myself. I'm asking God to change my thinking, to keep me in my own lane focused on one thing at a time. Focused on getting through one day at a time.
With that long introduction, I'm happy to announce that I'm starting something new! TODAY I started a Beachbody Challenge Group with my girl, Rachel Cox of Whole and Free. This is a month long challenge group and I'm banking that it will catapult me into another month of good decisions.
Let the pounds and mental weights roll away! I'm ready to work. - JJ