Your Brokenness is Beautiful
First off, thank you for all of the kind words, messages, comments, etc. on the blog post I shared earlier this week. You guys are incredible. The way everyone has rallied around and encouraged us has been phenomenal. It's a beautiful thing when honesty is reciprocated with kindness, encouragement, and a real sense of "me too".
I am truly grateful.
Now, here is my response to the responses I've received since last Wednesday.
My brokenness is beautiful.
That phrase has been rolling around in my head for the past few days. I think it's been so prevalent because of public and private messages from people who responded with things like, "you have no idea how much I needed to hear this" and those who shared bits of their own stories dealing with infertility. It's more common than you expect. Beauty in brokenness doesn't mean that when you're going through issues you have to "happy your way through it." It means that big things can happen when we bring our broken state to God, expect him to help, and are willing to share our struggles with one another.
As someone who's been a Christ follower for a long time, the idea of brokenness is not anything new. Type in "bring your brokenness before God" into Google and countless blogs and articles pop up about how God redeems our brokenness and makes us whole.
I think about the old Shane and Shane song "Beauty for Ashes" (an incredible song on an incredible album that got me through high school).
And then, there are so many beautiful scriptures about brokenness.
"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." - Psalm 51:17
“Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” – Matthew 11:28-30
I could go on.
But the thing is, I know this stuff, but do I believe it? Do I carry myself in a way that reflects the phrase "your brokenness is beautiful"? It's easy for me to see others that way, but what about myself?
Do I truly believe that my brokenness is beautiful and wanted by God? Do I know deep down that I'm not counted out or disqualified because something about me is off? This is one of those phrases that's easy to say, but hard to believe day in and day out. It's one thing to know something, but actually believing it is where it counts.
This is something I really struggled with months ago when I was coming to terms with my fertility issues. I can confidently say that there are more days I believe it and live it out than there are days that I don't. It's also easier to extend that grace to others than to myself. I think that saying one thing to someone, but not really believing it for yourself is pretty normal for people though.
I don't want to be contradictory in this area, or anything really. If I talk and counsel someone about how their brokenness is beautiful (I work at a church and get to hear people's stories all the time and I love it so much), but then don't do that for myself, the truths don't line up. Why would they believe me?
So here I am now believing that my own brokenness is beautiful; that I can be used; that God can and will be glorified through my story; that I am not discounted or disqualified from a life filled with joy and purpose; and most importantly I'm letting God remind me that my brokenness is beautiful. He reminds me daily that I can trust Him and that He wants to do more in my life than I can imagine. I tell him back that I'm up for the challenge. That I am willing to put forth more effort, trust harder, share more, listen more, and ultimately being willing to believe His truth about how much he loves me.
And now, I say the same thing to you.
Your brokenness is beautiful.
It is! You might not be able to see it yet, but it is. The beauty is there. The beauty lies in your response. Will you invite God in and let him start chipping away at your broken state? Will you let him use it for His glory? Will you see your brokenness as a diving board instead of a roadblock? Will you let him use you to spread His message of hope? I think you can. I know you can.
It's easier to throw a pity party, call yourself a victim, and stay stuck. Belief and change take real effort. Don't take the easy way when it comes to your own brokenness. Let the disappointments be jumping off places for you and God. You never know what can happen when you decide to believe God's truth that he really does "heal the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds.” (Psalm 147:3). Believe that we really do have a high priest who is able to sympathize with our weaknesses. (Hebrews 4:15-16). It's going to take work and time, but you can do it. We can do it together.
If you have a story you'd like to share about your brokenness, I would love to hear it. Encourage someone today like you've encouraged me.