Here in Mississippi we get a short tease of spring. The spring tease is happening right now and it's perfect. There's a lot of pressure that comes with spring time: spring cleaning, beach season is just around the corner, shorts, re-organization, more time outside, etc. None of those are bad things, they're just different from the winter hibernation of blankets, layering clothes, and soup/stew for every meal. Feeling the spring pressure, it's time to spring back into working towards good things and goals that I started this blog to document.
I've really missed blogging. I like knowing that I've missed it. That not only means that I enjoyed doing it, but that it was good for me. The accountability, the connection with other people, and the informational and emotional processing I was able to do through writing has been deeply missed.
So where have I been? Let's see. I've been at Chick-fil-a, the Dairy Queen drive through, lingering in the junk food aisles at the grocery store, and at home in my recliner with my hand in the Cheez-It box, just to name a few examples.
I can admit it. I quit.
I quit putting forth effort to make healthy choices. I quit listening to my body. I quit trying. Things got hard and I bailed.
I can also admit, even though I'm cringing even typing it, that I gained back
almost all of the weight I previously lost. Because of that feelings of shame and regret flood my mind and spirit every day. Sometimes every hour.
So, here I am now. I'm back. I'm choosing to spring back. I'm choosing to try!
The prideful part of me doesn't want to showcase my coming back, but only show the end results. Show that I could do it on my own! TBH, that's a terrible plan.
I'm coming back in a posture of humbleness admitting that I quit, that I feel deep regret, and that I can't do this by myself. I need the vulnerability of blogging as well as a salad.
Am I going to be perfect? Of course not. Am I going to try, make small changes, and be smarter? Yes!
Here's to everyone who's started something and then quit.
Here's to everyone who has (at some point) knowingly ignored and not dealt with something just because it's hard.
And here's to everyone who has experienced failure (in anything. For me, it's gaining the weight back), but is ready to try again!
Here's to us. Let's find joy in rebuilding and facing hard challenges. Here we go!
By the way -- the terrible pun on spring time in the title was indeed intended.