Learning to Trust Myself
When I was in middle school, there was a big push on character. That quote (above) was on signs in the hallway and in classrooms and I remember our principal talking about it all the time. I remember it so vividly and it's really stuck with me all these years.
I want to be a woman of character. I think following Christ means that you are a person of character. I want to do what is right even when no one is watching me.
If you've been following my journey and reading this blog for the past few months you know that in this season of my life I'm viewing everything through a food lens. It's kind of a big emotional mess.
I've realized recently that as I'm making the effort to eat well every day, I don't trust myself around food. Sure, I can make good choices when people are watching me. I'm immediately held accountable. The action is out in the open.
But what about when I'm alone? Do I trust myself to not reach my hand down the cereal box and snack snack snack while Netflix-ing? What about when I'm at work and everyone is in their own work bubble and no one is keeping on eye on whether or not I sneak around the back to the snack cabinet?
The answer is no. I don't trust myself.
I haven't been a woman of character in the food department according to my definition of character.
Today, I start trusting myself.
Today, I become that woman of character. And then I'm going to do it again tomorrow.
It really is something when you apply real world lessons to your relationship with food. When you put food on the same playing field as your moral compass, that's when you can fully start seeing food as what it's supposed to be: fuel.
I'm on a holistic journey. Everything is connected together. One thing effects another. So now, I'm learning to trust myself when I'm by myself.